The movie limps toward its foregone conclusion, and the audience nervously watches as the slow-motion train wreck unfolds, like the beginning of The Fugitive starring Harrison Ford. Except in this movie the “hero” is not going to make a spectacular leap to safety. Instead, he is going to be crushed in the debris of his ruined administration.
I don’t want any more popcorn.
Yesterday Governor Bentley pulled the “I’m seeking forgiveness from y’all and God for what I’ve done” card, except it doesn’t work because he’s only admitted to what he absolutely had to because of the audiotapes of his pathetic phone calls with his married girlfriend, Rebekah Caldwell Mason.
Here’s the full text of his arrogant and tone-deaf plea for forgiveness for what little he’s admitted to:
Let me say this, I have addressed, I personally have addressed this issue. I addressed this tape that came out that was recorded three years ago. I addressed that. I have addressed the issues related to that. Those issues have been taken care of long ago. But it has just been made public just recently and I have to address them again.
I’ve asked God to forgive me because that’s the most important thing. I want back in His fellowship. And so I asked God to forgive me. But I asked other people to again forgive me and I’ve already done that and I have truly asked the people of this state – they’re the folks who love me and are the best people in the world – I have asked them to forgive me.”
And, you know, it’s mine. I own it. I own it. I did it. I point no fingers to anybody else. I make no excuses from that. I own my problem. It’s not your problem. You have other problems. It’s not your problem. It’s my problem and I have to deal with that. And so I have humbly opened myself up to the people of this state and I have asked them to forgive me. And let me continue to do the things they elected me for twice and that’s to try to make their lives better. And that’s what I’m going to do.
It is not (affecting my job). This has been addressed a long time ago. It really has. It’s all been clarified, it’s all been addressed. I have put it in the rear-view mirror. Others have not because it’s obviously been brought out now. It’s one of those things that I take full control of. It’s me. I did it. I did it. And that’s why I ask the people of this state to forgive me because they are a forgiving people and they know God’s grace.
And what is it, exactly, that you “own,” Governor? Oh yeah, you own what those damning audiotapes absolutely prove, which is that you are the worst phone-sexer in North America. Clearly you don’t own what everyone else who has listened to the tapes knows, which is that you were carrying on an affair with a married woman young enough to be your daughter.
Nobody believes your protestations that you had a conversation about past sex acts that did not take place. That is because even though this is Alabama, we are not a state of fools.
And Governor, you know we know. And so you’re insulting all of us with your plea for forgiveness. You haven’t confessed the actual truth, so we are not going to let you go with a few Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s.
And you’ve “humbly opened yourself up to the people of this state?”
What you’ve done is to cynically calculate that if you play the Christian/God/forgiveness card that you will skate through the court of public opinion. And maybe you’re right. Maybe we are all just so stupid that we will just nod our heads and go along with the manure pouring out of your mouth.
I hope that’s not true.
But I am reasonably certain that the feds are not listening to your “heartfelt” apology and your incoherent claim that “this has all been addressed long ago. It really has. It’s been clarified,” whatever the hell that means.
I don’t think that any prosecutors or courts are going to be impressed with this presumptuous assertion, either: “Let me say this, I have addressed, I personally have addressed this issue. I addressed this tape that came out that was recorded three years ago. I addressed that. I have addressed the issues related to that. Those issues have been taken care of long ago.”
Guv, you may have “addressed” these issues by getting your sorry ass divorced, but the apparent conduct that may rise to the level of crimes concerning how your mistress and her husband was paid, your attempted persecution of private citizens attempting to blow the whistle on your activities, your potential use of state funds to facilitate and cover up your affair, your potential witness tampering and obstruction of justice, and your conduct in elevating a simple bodyguard to a cabinet level position because he is loyal enough not to rat you out have not been addressed by the authorities or by the people of this state.
Basically the governor’s entire statement boils down to this: “I apologized already, I’ve dealt with it, I’ve clarified it, get over it, it’s over, I’m still governor, shut up.”
Well. Governor Bentley, you might think this is in your “rear-view mirror.”
But the derailment is not. It’s just ahead, and the train is rushing towards it with a momentum that your pompous pleas and invocations of God cannot slow for even a second.