Boob-lover Governor Robert Bentley today wrote a column claiming he still plans to accomplish great things as Alabama’s governor and will not be a “caretaker governor,” whatever that means, and also announced he was endorsing Donald Trump for president since his previous choice for president, Governor John Kasich of Ohio, dropped out of the race after a humiliating third-place finish in the Indiana GOP primary last week.
Clearly Governor Creepy Phone-Sex is suffering under the grandiose delusion that anyone cares what he thinks, or will be swayed by his endorsements, or that he has any political relevance whatsoever other than to continue being an embarrassing national laughingstock.
Our governor is confused and somebody needs to take away his car keys.
His column published by AMG is . . . damn, how do I even start? Let’s first look at his Pollyanna musings on the tornado wreckage that is Alabama’s state government:
My Administration began this Session with a laser-like focus on solving the major problems our state faces, and we will never take our eye off the ball. I want to assure you, we are here solving the real problems that affect everyone in Alabama. We are here for one reason and one reason only, to make Alabama a truly Great State.
Does anyone other than this clueless washed-up politico believe he began this session with a laser-like focus on any problem other than how to explain away that nauseating audiotape of him recounting his favorite tit-grabs to an unscrupulous married woman young enough to be his daughter? Or maybe how to keep himself out of jail in the face of mounting investigations by federal, state, and state ethics officials.
His assurances that “we [the royal we?] are here solving the real problems that affect everyone in Alabama” is beyond clueless.
It is offensive.
As I wrote last week, this legislature and this governor accomplished so little during the general session the legislators might as well have saved the taxpayers’ money and stayed home.
The General Fund is still underfunded, and cuts to Medicaid threaten to cut many people off from access to basic healthcare.
Our schools are still poor and regularly rank at the bottom for educational outcomes.
Our tax system is still inadequate, regressive, and unfair.
Payday loans at 456% interest are still legal.
Our roads and other infrastructure are crumbling beneath our feet.
Those are “real problems” and Governor Bentley is not working to solve them. He’s pushing a colossally stupid prison construction plan to benefit his former adviser and boob-talk buddy Rebekah Mason and former governor Bob Riley’s family.
Bentley blathers on. He quotes the Bible (of course) and later John F. Kennedy. The Bible is important to many and JFK remains a mythic figure of a president, although an odd choice to quote for a rock-ribbed Alabama Republican.
Bentley remains what he is: irrelevant.
Bentley today also announced, to no one’s surprise, that he will be supporting Donald Trump, the presumptive GOP presidential candidate.
Alabama is already going to vote for that misogynistic, racist, xenophobic, swaggering braggart.
And dear Governor, nobody gives a damn what you think.
Take a deep breath, and repeat after me: “My political career is finished. Nobody listens to me. Everyone is laughing at me. I am irrelevant.”
Now, don’t you feel better?
Go home, Robert Bentley. We don’t need you anymore.